Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Schedule conflict

just schedule pick today at work at the work meeting. I was excited to see that Sunday was a half day. So I pick Day shift which Im not sure if im too comfortable now, with I just realize after I pick I have to close three days. When I think about the schedule I have now is pretty nice I just dont really like Thursday closing nights but I can deal with dat once a week. My day shift schedule is
Sun-10:10-1:10 Monday Eve to Close -4:00-10:30 Tues-10:10-/eve 7:30 Friday and Sat 10:10-7:30 for one the gas would be so much higher because i have to drive, i dunno i make the final desicion tomorrow when I go back to work, will see no point in worrying about it. I just ask to switch when I get back to work tomorrow if I decide to. I dont want my mom to be more stress out about watching riri ok lets just see...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bath Body work, Inner self true being

wow their allot i want to talk type about right now, first off I'm so into bath and body works product lately u know my all time fav scents as of now is Secrets wonderland is just so yummy and everything i smell it like and not to strong either fruity and nice. I also love Dark Kiss which stay on u all day and it a mix of berry vanilla and kinda cotton candy at the same time which i like. My fav type though is the body cream hand down. N taking a shower with their triple moister cream is feel so divine and pamper.The cream is just luxurious and really moisten ur hand without greasy feeling. I also am very into their candle right now too,I bought cotton candy cuz i love sweet candy scent, pink pomegranates, Caribbean escape, I also have vanilla bean noel which smell very yummy and frosted cupcake which smell kinda like cookie. My fav is pink pomegranate i also have that in scented oil form.I just seem to truly enjoy all these great smell goody things lately. A couple years ago when I did have bath and body product i never enjoy them as of now. I think because they really improve and they have great deals and I actually running out of secret wonderland and I bought two more back ups that how much i love them.They were having buy 3 get 3 free. I think before I'm not really a lotion person but not anymore i just feel so luxurious and pamper every time i use it. I aslo like the new country chic which just came out it like fruity and floral mix into one kinda pineapple. I like it but not so much as Secret wonderland or Dark kiss my two fav.Japanese cherry blossom is also my other fav. I dont really like the regular Cherry blossom I like the Japenese cherry it's so much better.I guess i love smelling good hehe.The candle make me feel good too, when i burn the candle the room feel so serenity and calm.

So moving on, the best way for me to feel at peace is just living in the moments, cherish it. I never been feeling so free and at peace since as of now. My pass is all full of worry about the future or thing i did or other people did. But you know what that doesn't matter. Now is what we living in bringing the past is just holding on resentment and making you stress. I feel like I found what I'm wanted in my life as of this age, also wanted to know and be in life. It just enjoy what is at this moment because that is all u feel is now. just having nature or flower is such a wonderful beauty I always dream of when I was little having this dream of thought that I'm lying in a field full of flower, also passing a bunch of cherry blossom is just awesome. I just really appreciate nature and it beauty. I feel like I am at inner peace and that excepting even your pain of menstrual cycle that we women have just letting flow out of you, the energy passing just feeling it release or help ease the pain instead of resisting it because that just part of your pain body. It just me but every time i type and this blog go to auto save it keep skipping into other part messing up my typing process kinda annoy o well.Any ways when you let go of resistance u well feel at peace if u just surrender and let your being feel fully presence and feeling ALIVE.=)Peace!

Ps im been eating ok lately like eating salad alot but i still eat carb but try to cut down and mainly eat salad and fruits and that make me feel good too.Smell step but im get their.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Gain weight

One of the thing in my life I come to realize is weight gain. I dont know how much I gian maybe anywhere 10-20lbs. That is alot for me because Im only 4 10 and gainning that much really show. I havent weigh myself yet but I only know that im way bigger then before and its not just because of being pregnagnt two years ago. After I had rir my weight was little more then before but now I just feel overweight. I know Im going to have to jump start my healthy eating and exercise. I have to love myself to feel happier and being overwieght is a big health issue. That's the real reason to start. Im going to blog as I embark on this journey.I might edit this later because i have to go...

Good Day start bad day end well sort of

Being non egoistic is so hard. Well I dont like to bring up the past but for this blog sake I feel its okay. Anger can be so hard to not let go at times. Trying to be enlightment is hard when you feel like your sorround with many people who don't understand or simply condition in the way that they are. I believe anyone can change but it is a work in progress. Like this past Cambodian New Year this Sunday even though I try my best to comincate to my sister I feel like they are not in the same boat. Yes they try but I feel not enough. What happen was she call me and left me a message that she meet at my mom house since nan is picking her up over their, they say nothing about that they going to the temple, they didn't left anymore message after that first message either. I have a miss call but what is that suppose to tell me exp. they don't have cell with them they could at least call to tell me that they are leaving, so I could of drive straight to temple but no cuz i thought im suppose to meet at my mom house.They were taking picture outside( pregnant women forgetful sometime i tell ya) Well i call my mom cell phone too but no help their cuz she said they are not their. I also call nan house lots of time includes mom house but no one pick up. I must of call hundreds of time (not really) but it feel like it. Well turn out they left to the temple already. Comincation is key i tell you. I feel like they do this alots of time to me. I feel like Im always the one trying hardest to comincate to run things smoothly, then the anger got the the best of me. I was feeling piss even at a temple setting which shouldn't be that way. I guess I just expected an apology, not like well it not a big deal get over it it your fault that you didn't pick the phone.They left a message (yeah the wrong messgae), but yeah I cool down pretty quick though, I dont feel any grudge or anything but just want to emphazie that communication is important expecially if you dont have a cell phone. Thank goodness it not far off in seattle somewhere.But it all good i did let it go and i feel like we had fun. My daughter love playing with the water that were bless including Trocon. All in all a good experience and a good day. For me though as for myself I just felt a little let down that the anger happen but atleast I except it and do get over it you cant make or expect situation to go they way you want, expecially if you are condition that way.
Positive= Well today though me and my husband work really hard organize and getting work done around the house. lately Im in an organize mood. Well anyways lets start of with the good stuff we did. I sweep the back of the house ( we had cemet back thier and forests) then clean the house and organize the whole house basically. I clean the the living room because we got this nice paino that my mother in law friends give to us. It look really nice and work well with the decor.Im so thankful for the piano I love it and Raejeny love it too. She already trying to learn it hehe. Earlier from that I took Raejeny to play outside riding on her new bike. She cant really peddle it yet though. Then my husband Danny took all the big cardboard boxes to the recycle place and it's a lot, from all the item we ordered expspecially lots of big item, Then he organize our garage and it look nice now, not all cluttered like before. We also getting rid of some old funiture like the tv stand and my makeup vanity. Also Danny put our entry way chubby shoe bench and coat up. Really nice to organize the shoe in the entry way bench. Instead of having the shoe all over the the front door area.Also he had put up the new TV stand that we ordered from walmart and with his brother help move the old TV stand up to the room. I also move the bookshelf upstairs and we use the new ladder bookcase for down stair living room. That also what Danny build.
Negative= well I don't know if it just the wrong timing or if its all the hard work Danny been doing lately,which I'm really thankful of, because he only have Monday to do anything and I should not nag or complain but maybe it's the sensitive that in him or negative set mind he project( he do have positive in him exp with Raejeny she mean the world to him) it he just kinda blow up at the fact that I asked him to look at the chubby shoe organizer that he just build. I was putting the shoe in the chubby hole place and was trying to tell him is this the shoe that he wear often because the one that he don't I just put it somewhere else because only the shoe we use often well be their in the chubby hole. he got mad because to him it felt like I kinda nag about the situation. He wants the boots shoe he wear most not in the chubby because the fact that it easier not to bend down and take it out of the chubby hole, I was like how lazy could you be that's just defeat the purpose. He fanaily say okay he do it but brought up past situatution which didn't help and he explain that he was stress and blew up because of his dad. Then i made the mistake of talking about the future of changing his future but it's not easier said then done not with this economy.Then i told him why are you so negative lots of time. Why cant you look at life in a positive way. He try but he more condition to be negative , exp the way he was raised, he look at the bad side of things rather then good and make little thing become big(kinda anal of things exp people being late) and I see that he gets that from his dad , but their should be a time when you can break out of it too. Maybe it's not his time , I try my best to support and love my husband but it hard sometimes when your nothing alike. he doesn't seem to have faith. Although he say he was raised as a christian but he don't go to church or even have it it him. I can only support him but i cannot change him. He have to change him selves. At the end though he would always apologize and feel bad and I think that what all it take for me to be happy again and also why the relationship last because we forgive.Also I hate and do feel guilt arguing in front of Riri which I should let my ego go and just ignore the situation till he calm down.
Although my temper is much more patience and tamer then before Im still learning to let the ego go . What happen in the past you cant change just forgive and move on. Just let it be and be present.I'm feeling happy as I'm typing now and hopefully my positive energy will effect my husband and the friends around me.After all it's not a big deal and we accomplish a lot today and Im proud, and this is today experience not tomorrow Peace!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

update starting to blog agian

It's been 2 years since I blog, but this time when i do blog i just write what on my mind. Yeah I need to start exercising again and eating better. I feel like i need to lose about 20 lbs, just guessing though. Yeah when your old clothes don't fit you, i know i need to do something about it. I cook fish talipia with ginger and onion it taste good, also made soup today.Anyways I really need to give Raejeny more water and juice. Yesterday while taking number two she was really constipated to the point she was crying and i see blood on her but, if this don't stop we take her this Monday to Doctor for that check up. I'm feel like I have been more in touch with my spiritual side and and it me feel calm and at peace. I don't have that anxiety attack which i have in the pass because of stress and worriness, I just learn to let them go and just live in the moment and just enjoy the serenity. It still a work in progress but I feel like I'm going through awaken which a lot of popular books been talking about and yes I do read quite a few in that subject matter. I just strive to be positive rather then negative and let things go. My Tv. stand came in today and Danny my husband put it together, I been buying alot of funiture organize type stuff lately. Most of my amazon order came except for this cubbie shoe entry way Im waiting on. I still organizing every room in my house. It just feel good to know where everything have it's place. my next things I love is plant. I feel like plants really help your house feel good energy and breath better. I cant believes my husband is so into those new flat screen tv, we already have 52 inch but i guess he even want a bigger one at 55 inch and it in 3d. I told him i dont approve of it but he already order it, I guess his motto is get blame latter. If it me back in the days I would nags and not let it go, but it's no point of stressing over little things. he told me he pay it off so im not worried, with a credit card that is. Well it's okay he such a technology freak. O wells i have my own share of love of my things too.=)